I Make Simon Cowell Seem Kind

I honestly have absolutely nothing interesting to say about my own life today. So I won't say anything. Instead, here's a list of reality tv-themed insults (hey, I have a lot of free time). You know your life is going badly if someone says to you:

• If you were on my island, I'd vote myself off.


• Your face is made for tv--"Extreme Makeover," that is.


• Didn't I see you on "The Surreal Life?"


• You make Paris and Nicole look like nuns.


• You make Jessica Simpson seem smart.


• You make Anna Nicole seem classy.


• You make the Osbournes look attractive.


• A date with you is better known as "Fear Factor."


• Do you and The Donald share a hairstylist?


• Every date with you is an "Elimi-Date."


• You're as exciting as "Big Brother."

Add your own!