Hey there, May I Touch You in the Spirit of Pleasantry?

Law school can actually be funny. Like the case of the guy who accidentally jabs someone in the eye with a stick, while trying to referee a dog fight. And sometimes judges are funny in their cases. Scalia is almost always making little insults to the other Supreme Court justices. This post's title comes from a case that we read, which stated that consent is implied when "touching in the spirit of pleasantry."

But there's a dark side to the legal cases too. And just for amusement's sake, I've decided to keep an occasionally updated tally on the body count in my classes. Well, at least in the reading in my classes. The current stats:

Civ Pro: 0 (Probably a major reason the class is so boring.)
First Year Lawyering: 0 (But I've heard a few threats to the instructor)*
Torts: 17
Criminal: Depends how you count it. 24 regular cases. 1 fetus (the ruling held it didn't count as human). 492 killed in a fire.
For those who don't like counting, that equals 517 altogether.

So our total current body count is: 534

In other news, I'm also making a list of some ordinary words that law school has completely ruined for me. Please note that a lot of these are words people use all the time, but when I hear them, all I can think of is the applicable legal rule (actually, I usually think about how I don't remember the applicable legal rule, but you get the idea). I'm sure this list will grow about as fast as the number of dead people. The beginnings:

• Reasonable


• Negligent


• Reckless


• Case


• Strict


• Liable


• Memo


• Brief


• Malice


• Intent


• Provoke

So the next time you see me, don't be surprised if I cringe when you say something like, "Quit provoking me! I wish you weren't so malicious--I'm liable to do something reckless!"


*That was a joke. Now that I'm in law school, I feel the need to cover myself in case anything really does happen. This must be what they mean about thinking like a lawyer.